


싹 다 뒤집어 놔

by bandable, chewhy, dearfelix, jarofactonbell



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Collaboration, District 9 - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-08 10:02:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14102979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandable/pseuds/bandable, https://archiveofourown.org/users/chewhy/pseuds/chewhy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearfelix/pseuds/dearfelix, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarofactonbell/pseuds/jarofactonbell
Summary: a collaboration ficbased on theI am Not Trailer





	싹 다 뒤집어 놔

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Writer chewy/chewhy here~ A few writers from the Stray Kids writing community decided it would be fun to get together and try out a beautiful corpse piece! These are the (on-going) results and we hope you enjoy it! As a disclaimer there may be a few inconsistencies, but that's the beauty of beautiful corpse! The purpose of this fic was to give ourselves an exercise in which we could test our boundaries and have fun while experimenting. One way to think about it might be that we are _straying_ from the well-traveled path... 
> 
> What is a beautiful corpse? It's basically a writing exercise in which a group of writers will pass around a piece of writing and add to it while only looking at part of it. We've done a modified version of it in which we would write 500~ words, then pass it to the next person, who could only write 500~ words based off of what the previous person had written. It's like the writing version of telephone, I'd say!
> 
> We started writing this fic a few weeks ago, and have decided to publish it in honor of 9 million views! [(Don't forget to keep streaming!)](https://youtu.be/u6unJQownW4) We hope you have as much fun reading it as we did writing it, and as always comments and kudos are appreciated~

The thing about freedom is this: you can think you want it more than anything in the world, but that want won’t truly manifest itself in your bones, your blood, your heart, your mind until you’ve gotten a taste of it. A taste will make you wonder,  _ what if?  _ A taste will leave you craving for more.

 

 

Felix always knew he was a little different.

 

The Society did not tolerate differences. How can it, when the standard is perfection—a certain type of calculated, measurable perfection—and anything less than that is a  _ glitch _ in the supposedly flawless System? 

 

Felix had been sent to The Society at a young age, young enough that his only memory of his parents was a vague, fuzzy image of a toothy smile. Entering The Society was a privilege. The organization, occupying a towering building on the outskirts of Seoul, churned out the elite of society: politicians, surgeons, accountants, and everything in between. Every man and woman in the upper echelons of society had entered the stark white doors of The Society and emerged a decade later as a graduate of the System. They went on to lead comfortable lives. They neither reached high nor sank low. They were all the Same.

 

_ The Society. The System. The Same. The Same. The Same.  _ This mantra rang through Felix’s head as he crawled out of bed painfully slowly so as not to make a sound. It was one in the morning and he had no business being awake, much less attempting to leave his room. Routine was an essential part of the System—in bed at ten, asleep by ten thirty, awake at seven. This ensured the essential eight to nine hours of sleep per night for optimal efficiency the next day. There were to be no deviations.

 

Felix let out a sigh of relief once he was safely out the door. He shared the room with some of the boys in his class, but none of them had stirred.

 

_ The Society. The System. The Same. The Same. The Same.  _ As the mantra continued, pounding on the inside of his skull, Felix broke out into a run.  _ The Society. The System. The Same. The Same-  _ It was so loud. It didn’t stop. 

 

Felix burst out onto the rooftop of The Society. He was hit first by the cutting chill of the night air and then by velvety silence. The voice inside his head had come to an abrupt halt.

 

This was his taste of freedom—to be free of the words that followed him to the darkest corners of his mind.

 

The rooftop was strictly forbidden but easy enough to get to since members of the Society wouldn’t want, or even think, to go there. It was a large, flat expanse, empty save for a few tall mirrors in the center meant to reflect away wayward birds. Felix stood before these mirrors for a moment, unmoving, observing.

 

He was a little different. 

 

Than the others. 

 

Than his usual self.

 

Rather than an inky black, his hair was a sandy blonde. His hair earned him judgmental stares from his peers but for some inexplicable reason he reached for a bottle of dye each month. Anything besides inky black.

 

His eyes were alert. They were dull and listless during the day but now they shone with excitement, ferocity, and maybe a little bit of giddiness.

 

With one last look at himself in the mirrors, Felix closed his eyes, filled the silence in his head with an electrifying melody, and let his limbs follow the rhythm pulsing through his body. His movements were at once messy and beautiful, fluid and sharp, emotional and detached. His movements told the story of his young, tired soul.

 

This was his taste of freedom—to shed the shackles that bound him to unforgiving perfection.

 

 

Weeks passed with the same routine. It was okay, as long as the deviations followed a routine, or so Felix reassured himself. 

 

He sat there on the roof, panting, mind cleared of all thought, free from the endless memorizations, expectations and perfections they expected him to achieve. 

 

He should have noticed the new figure approaching in the reflections surrounding him or even heard the clunking footsteps that came as a result of wearing the awful boots that came with the uniform, feeling more like shackles and chains than footwear. Instead, he was lost in the haze of adrenaline that came after dancing, after doing anything that made him feel like he was really breathing for once in his life.

 

“Hey, what are you doing out here?” Even though the voice was gentle, as soft as the breeze that filled the night air around him, Felix couldn’t help but startle at the way it broke and shattered everything around him as his mind began churning again, bringing images of punishments and detentions for every rule he had broken on this very rooftop. 

 

“Nothing,” he answered, turning sharply away as if hiding his face would do anything to conceal his identity when his hair, exposed, still shone golden in the light. 

 

“Felix, it’s alright. It’s me, Changbin,” the boy said, identifying himself. It was useless to Felix, though. He hadn’t taken the time to learn the names of anybody in his class yet, nor had he planned to.

 

“I didn’t recognize your voice. I don’t think I’ve actually ever heard you speak,” Felix finally spoke, turning to face the intruder. He couldn’t trust anyone when everybody acted as the eyes and ears of The Society, but he figured a name for a name when they were both breaking rules meant they shared some semblance of a bond now.

 

“Neither do you,” Changbin countered, moving closer. 

 

“I have an accent,” Felix shrugged.

 

Changbin appeared to take that as a cue to sit next to him, legs dangling off of the ledge precariously. “And I have a hot temper. Best to keep my mouth shut until I get my parent’s inheritance. Isn’t that why we’re all here, anyway?” 

 

“Not quite,” Felix chuckled, “But I appreciate the honesty.” He was being sincere. He didn’t know that he’d heard a word of truth since he got here. A word of anything that wasn’t the daily propaganda they were fed morning until night. It was refreshing to hear a kernel of something that could pass as the truth. If only he could trust it wholeheartedly, but this wasn’t a slumber party with whispered secrets and pinky promises. 

 

No, they lived in a model making factory, all of them soon to be machine made humans.

 

“Why are you here?” Changbin asked, startling Felix out of his thoughts for the second time that night. 

 

“My parents sent me to build my inheritance, not as a requirement to have it handed to me.” Felix knew it was probably too early to be making personal jabs but his brain had a tendency to stop working this late at night. 

 

Luckily, Changbin laughed, “No, not that. Why are you here, on the roof this late at night. You’re not afraid?”

 

Felix took a deep breath before he stood and approached closer to Changbin where he sat on the ledge, leaning over the railing until he could see the tiny cars passing by in the road below, the size of ants scurrying this way and that. “I’m here because I am afraid. I don’t want to lose myself.”

 

“You don’t want to be fake,” Changbin supplied, words heavy, spoken like they were thought ceaselessly, a daily mantra. “Neither do I.”

 

"Too bad there's no way to avoid that, huh?" Felix doesn't make any attempt at eye contact with Changbin, as he followed his gaze down to the night life bustling below them. "When the only reason we're here is to be spit out of the other end just the same as everyone else. When the entire point of any of this is to become the fake people they want us to be."

 

Changbin glanced over at Felix. "You haven't talked to anyone else in our class, have you?" he asked.

 

Felix shook his head. It was too risky. Everything about this situation was too risky: being on the roof this late at night, talking to Changbin about any of this. Felix had broken so many rules already that night. The more he added to the list, the darker his future seemed to shine as the possibility of being found out became more likely. "Have you?" Felix asked, "It's too much of a risk with ears everywhere."

 

"I'm talking to you, aren't I? And you're talking to me." Changbin pointed out.

 

Felix finally made eye contact with the other. "Am I going to regret it?" A breeze blew across the roof making Felix shiver. The silence played for a beat too long. "Are you going to answer my question?"

 

"Which one?" Felix looked over at Changbin exasperated, only to shake his head at the joking grin that graced the other's face. "I'm joking... Yes, I have. Talked to others in our class, that is. Secretly, of course, just like us up here."

 

Felix furrowed his eyebrows, shivering again. He regretted not bringing his hoodie with him even if the pristine white of it made him sick, just like everything else here. "How? Or... Or I guess, why? What are you trying to achieve by risking yourself like that?"

 

Changbin shrugged. "The same reason you're here. I don't want to see myself fade into the past. I'd rather face an infinite amount of punishments than face the fact that I have to become what The Society wants me to become."

 

Changbin's thoughts were replicas of everything Felix had felt. Felix wrapped his arms around himself, "How are you planning on avoiding that?"

 

Changbin sighed as he looked back down at the street below them. "His name is Chan," he answered, after the silence had almost became overbearingly uncomfortable. "I don't know a lot yet, but he... he has a plan."

 

Felix scoffed, shaking his head. "You don't know a lot but he has a plan? That sounds incredibly convincing." He pushed himself away from the ledge. "You can want to face punishments, but I, on the other hand, would like to avoid them."

 

Changbin stood and turned so his back was against the barrier and he could look Felix in the face. "Really? But you're up here, aren't you? You're already breaking so many rules, and I know you want a way out of this place. If this is the way, why wouldn’t you take the chance? Just because I don't know a lot yet?"

 

Felix stopped, staring at Changbin in disbelief. "In The Society, the one thing I've learned is to trust no one," Felix responded. "Maybe I do want out, maybe that's all I want. But you only have this one mysterious person backing you up and I'm supposed to risk everything to follow you?"

 

Felix went to walk away. "What if I told you there were others? More than just Chan?" Changbin spoke up, stopping Felix in his tracks.

 

"Like I said," Changbin continued, "I don't know a lot. I haven't had a chance to talk to him in detail, but what I do know is that there are others. It's not just me and him, and from what he said this isn't something new. It’s been in the works. It's something big. So, again, I'm offering you a way out of his godforsaken prison. Are you really going to leave now?"

 

Felix didn't turn back.

 

"You'll regret it for the rest of your life if you leave now, Felix. Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have happened if you stayed?" Changbin finished.

 

Silence fell around the duo. Felix weighed the options. He could walk away now and pray no one finds out about his talk with Changbin, while continuing to live every monotonous day fearing for the future. Or, he could stay on the rooftop and take a chance on a way out. Slowly, Felix turned to Changbin and made eye contact.

 

"Take me to him."

 

“You have to be sure, Felix, this isn’t just  _ your _ life that you’re risking,” Changbin responded, his stance firm. There was no way that Changbin would risk everything that Chan had worked toward for the sake of someone who wasn’t sure whether the chance of punishment was worth the result.

 

“I’m not a child, Changbin. I can’t live fearful forever,” Felix was unwavering in his resolve. Changbin scoffed, stepping closer to the blonde boy, so close that the warmth of Felix’s breath could be felt upon his face.

 

“Not wanting to live a life full of fear and actually being willing to take action to prevent that are two very different things, Felix,” Changbin’s voice was barely above a whisper but his tone was forceful. Felix knew that if he took this offer now, he wasn’t allowed to stay the scared little boy he had always been.

 

“I’m ready. I want to do this,” Felix tried to convey his confidence. He was sure that this was something he had to do. For himself and for every boy or girl who lived everyday afraid of things that set them apart.

 

“We have to leave now.” 

 

That was the last thing Changbin said before he found Felix’s hand. Felix followed along dumbly, veins pumping with too much adrenaline to stop and think about what he had gotten himself into.

 

There wasn’t much time to think about anything, really, other than not being caught as they set out for the base that Chan resided in. Before departing, they had snuck back into their rooms to exchange their stiff white uniforms for darker clothing.

 

It was surprisingly easy to escape the confinements of the Society. Perhaps, like with the roof, security wasn’t necessary because it would--should--never enter anyone’s mind to attempt to leave.

  
  
  
  


In the depths of a nearby forest that Felix hadn’t even known existed, the pair arrive at the place where the next step of their lives would begin. The residence was unlike anything else Felix had ever seen, rid of the sickeningly sterile white that they’d grown up surrounded by. It was an abandoned mansion, a remnant from a different era. The Society didn’t allow mentions of the past, so Felix was in awe of the sprawling, single story wooden building, so unlike the shiny skyscraper he had spent nearly all of us life in.

 

Even Chan wasn’t how Felix expected him to be. There were three types of people who would have fallen off of the grid because they weren’t deemed perfect enough for the world's society, always portrayed in one of three ways by the stories. The first, a bad boy stereotype, his skin tainted by illegal ink, piercings adorning anywhere they could, the second, an ugly, homeless looking person, and the last, someone who looked too drastically different for there to be any possible fix.

 

No one was shown as willingly leaving the world created; they were forced out. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone who wanted to leave. And yet Chan, he looked normal to Felix. Handsome even, the kind of looks that Felix had grown up envious of. Felix wondered how this pretty man could have possibly ended up here, with a plan for a rebellion.

 

Rebellion… As the situation he was in finally sunk in fully, anxiety and apprehension hit Felix like a truck. He had just left behind everything he had ever known with a boy he had spoken to for ten minutes. This wasn’t something he would be able to easily undo. Suddenly, his decision to act on his latent fear of conformity seemed like the wrong decision. What had he done? Felix was sure he would be spiraling into a pit of regret if Changbin’s hand wasn’t holding on his reassuringly. 

 

He felt a tight squeeze. It forced his tumultuous thoughts to quiet as he made eye contact with Changbin. The previously cold boy seemed to understand the fear in Felix’s eyes as he leaned in to whisper something into Felix’s ear.

 

“Take a deep breath. This is only the beginning.”

 

 

Weeks passed since Felix’s arrival, and yet he couldn’t help but still feel the suffocation surrounding him on all sides. There was no telling if this was better or worse as the talking around him shut down, the central group communicating in only looks and occasional whispers. Felix had expected a revolution and yet what he got was more of the same shit that occurred back in The Society--whispers, confusion, a perpetual haze that clouded his mind. 

 

When Felix tried to confront Changbin, he got only the vaguest of answers and barely there reassurances. No matter what questions Felix pelted his way, he heard no reasonable response.

 

“It’s not a matter of trust, it’s a matter of capability. Chan doesn’t speak to any of us. You have to understand, Felix.”

 

So Felix decided to take matters into his own hands. The next day, he tracked down Chan, their mysterious leader, and asked him. What was their purpose? Their point? Their destination? He wanted to reveal the face behind the mask.

 

He got his answers that night, as he watched Chan sleep.  

  
  
  
  


_ And still he’s laying. And still he’s breathing. _

_ And in that space he watches. Waiting. _

 

It wasn’t long before everything became pristine white, like a sheet of snow and ice beautifully cascading upon their heads. The whispers had told him he was delusional.  _ Too young to remember what it was like. There was no world before this one. This is your reality _ . But he could remember. Skies before frantic helicopters searching for fugitives. Skies with stars and a moon instead of dotted by skyscrapers. Sunlight stretching between pavement cracks. Sunshine so bright and hot it would hurt to look up.

He lifted his head. No sun or cloud. Just a white dome.

 

_ And still he’s looking. And still he’s waiting. _

_ Still in that space that is his mind. Still waiting. _

 

Colours had existed before. He had rhymes upon rhymes sitting in the back of his closet, before the raids happened. It was a time when all he could feel were currents living through his nerves, unhindered by fear, by anything other than the sheer need to live.

“Hey,” a voice called from far away, a present time, “you okay?”

“Far from it,” Chan mumbled, waking up from the recurring dreams, opalescent tones intersecting a camera lens, like looking through a reflecting window to an open sea, but only with too many distortions obscuring sight. One tear and the vision would be forever ruined.

“Here, let me help you up” the new kid, Felix, stood towering over him with a proffered hand. Chan lay on the floor instead of his bed, knees and the back of his head slightly sore. He must have hit his head while tumbling to the ground. He was still unused to sleeping on the bed after months of sleeping in sewers and alleyways obscured from light, when the only thing guiding him was Jisung’s flash light, bouncing off walls. 

 

For months they had both tried to find  _ that _ . They hadn’t know what but there had been the unspoken understanding between the two of them and  _ others like us _ , as Jisung had told him through quick taps on the sewage pipes,  _ we’re not alone. _

Then Woojin’s face had been a brief flicker of recognition then lost within the sea of white hoods. For several years Chan hadn’t reached out, too afraid that they hadn’t heard the same sound, that all he had was Jisung and himself. But they had met, hands finding each other until Woojin had been able to squeeze the words  _ I hear it _ to his fingertips. The space he hid in enlarged to accommodate two people who dared to look up.

 

He got up, ready. His body was trained to move at command, the chubby fat of a childish boy disappearing into thin muscles, sinews and tendons stretched taut and on guard. He had been waiting for years. He was ready, for whenever  _ it _ comes.

“New blood,” he spoke, opening both eyes, glowing in the dark. Felix didn’t take a step back, hand still hanging in midair, waiting to help him up. “We’re moving south. Time to rendezvous.”

“Why south? Rendezvous?”

“The Glitch, kid.” Chan finally took Felix’s hand and unfolded himself from the floor. “We’re blasting through the dome. This is it. The end of The Society.”

  
Across the country, the whiteboards were spiraling out of control. People lifted off their hoods as the words  _ I am not _ scribbled themselves in fading chalk.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are appreciated!
> 
> find the author's twitters here: [serena](https://twitter.com/straylixed), [indy](https://twitter.com/HYUNLlX), [nelly](https://twitter.com/JILIXISM), [cindy](https://twitter.com/smileyfelix), [syd](https://twitter.com/xbandable), [cee](https://twitter.com/flxeu), [jinn](https://twitter.com/hanjisquish), [chewy](https://twitter.com/2jaepg), [jamie](https://twitter.com/tigaracha), [jenny](https://twitter.com/jarofactonbell)


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